Have you ever been in such an intense heat that the only relief is either in an air-conditioned building or in a deep cooling body of water? Recently we were visiting our son and his family in Yuma AZ. It was a Sunny and extremely hot day at 115 degrees. My son refers to the heat there as Iraqi hot. We decided we would take our three grandsons swimming in the pool at the hotel where we were staying. Our youngest grandson is only four years old and has not spent much time in the water. I could tell he was insecure and uncomfortable leaving the steps and getting into the water. I was gently coaxing him to come in with me. I sensed his fear and helplessness. He kept asking me “but will you hold me?” He needed my reassurance I would be there to catch him in my arms.
Those words penetrated deep in my soul as I remembered all the pain, suffering, and tragedy in my life. All the unknown I had walked through. Early on in my walk, I didn’t understand how much my Father was right there with me coaxing me to step out into his arms.
When your soul suffers a deep tragic wound everything in your world becomes distorted and negative. Full of troubles “deep waters.” My deep waters were full of anger, fear, anxiety, horror, guilt and shame. Then came the panic attacks and fits of rage. My entire world spiraled out of control. I found myself drowning in those deep waters. It was then that I realized I had to grab on to something much bigger than myself. I had to cry out to God to help me, hold me and protect me. To draw me out of those deep waters.
In Psalms 18:16 it says “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.”
All I needed to do was to surrender it all to God and to ask, “but will you hold me?”
“Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” ~ Psalms 139:10 (NIV).
My grandson stepped into my arms and trusted me to hold him, protect him from the deep waters in front of him. Just a short time later he was slowly letting go of me and swimming around on his own. He was laughing and crying out with joy “Look at me I am doing it.” My joy didn’t return that quickly but I have found myself calling out to my father and saying look at me I am doing it. Because of His grace and mercy, I have learned to live again. My world is no longer distorted, negative and full of troubles. I have found what it means to have joy in my life. I now know when I find myself in deep waters all I must do is surrender, cry out to God and ask, “but will you hold me now” I know without any doubt His love will never fail to protect me. He will always be there to” hold me.”